North San Juan, CA — Local Ridge farmer Thomas Kevlin giggled Friday at the local Grass Valley Grocery Outlet grocery store after discovering a Coffee-Mate Creamer called “Girl Scout Cookie” in the refrigerated section.
“They get the joke, right?” questioned a grinning Mr. Kevlin. “I mean, that’s what we do here [in Nevada County]. I gotta think someone in the store is giggling every time they stock it.”
Two years ago mega-corporation Nestlé and the Girl Scouts of America joined forces to create an artificial coffee creamer based on the most popular Scout cookie flavors. Nestlé corporation has been under fire for draining municipal water aquifers and resources for bottled water leaving some residents without an adequate water supply. They have done this often with the blessing of Government officials and because they are horrendous dicks. The idea for new the creamer was to form a kind of “corporate synergy” with one of America’s most beloved brands, the Girls Scouts of America. And, of course, to energize the Nestlé brand and make them look less like cretinous dickheads by appropriating the wholesome Girl Scout brand.
It is unclear as of this writing if the coffee creamer stocked at the Grass Valley Grocery Outlet is two years old. Girl Scout Cookies is a popular crop/”strain” in North San Juan.
“Nestlé is kind of the Monsanto of foods,” continued Mr. Kevlin. “So the name is funny, but not, you know? Besides, this kind of artificial crap tastes like ass in coffee. Not that I know what that tastes like. Ass, that is.”
Grocery Outlet had no comment on this arguable “farming”/coffee-creamer link.